The Crown Prince
by hypereuni
Summary: "Hey, did you hear? The Crown Prince's coming to this school." or, the one where Kakashi wins over a bully with porn and gains some fanboys in the process. Written for Day 2 of Kakashi Week 2018.


**Day 2 Prompt: Royal AU.**

* * *

"Hey, Yuuto, Ken, did you hear?" **  
**

"About the Crown Prince coming to this school? Is it true?" Ken asks.

"Pssh. As if," Yuuto drawls, not looking up from the open book in his lap. "He's had private tutors since he was crawling in diapers. Besides, Konoha High isn't even within the top 10. It's only a rumor, Takeru."

"It is not!" Takeru says indignantly. "It was in the morning news. Anyway, he's a first-year, yeah? We should go and see what he looks like!"

Yuuto stares at him. "…You do know that the Crown Prince has Japanese parents. Right?"

"Well, duh," Takeru says, rolling his eyes. "He can't be the Crown Prince otherwise."

"Then how are you going to tell him apart from the other first-years with black hair and brown eyes?"

"…Oh."

Yuuto scoffs. "Dumbass," he mutters.

"H-hey! I mean, he could have something from that plane crash ten years ago! Like, I dunno." Takeru scratches his head. "…A scar on his face?"

"So we'll just go around the first-year classrooms looking for a kid who may or may not have a gigantic scar on his face. What a brilliant idea," Yuuto says flatly. "Do me a favor and shut the hell up."

"Y-you never know! I mean, he could be really flashy and cool with scars and, oh, I dunno, different colored hair—"

"…Dude. He's the Crown Prince."

"So?"

Yuuto sighs. "Princes don't dye their hair, idiot. It'll make the royal family look bad. Besides, it's against school policy."

"Didn't stop that kid over there," Ken says, nodding towards the school gates. It's almost time for the opening ceremony, but there's still a gaggle of girls surrounding a pair of boys, one of whom has an eye-catching head of spiky, gray hair. He's wearing a black ski mask that covers the bottom part of his face and his neck.

"He's got balls," Ken says admiringly. "Dude, look at that scar on his eye. He's probably hiding more scars under that mask."

"…The Prince," Takeru breathes out, wide-eyed. He clutches Yuuto's arm. "It's him. It's gotta be him, Yuuto. That is SO cool. Do you think he'll give me his autograph if I ask him?" Yuuto smacks him on the head with his book. "OWW!"

"Let go of my arm, you moronic fanboy. Didn't we already go over the dyed hair thing a few seconds ago? That punk's definitely not the Prince."

"Shut up, guys," Ken says absently. " _Dude_ , check out the scars on the other kid's face."

"Which kid?" Takeru asks.

"His friend. Look."

"Oh, I didn't even notice him. He's not as flashy as the Prince, but those scars are _wicked_. Do you think he's like, the Prince's personal guard?" The boy with the gray hair has just the one jagged scar neatly bisecting his left eye; the other boy has scars crisscrossing the entirety of the right side of his face.

 _Smack_.

"OWW, YUUTA."

* * *

"Move along, move along!" A voice crackles. Third-year upperclassman Morino Ibiki stalks over to the group in front of the gates, megaphone in hand. "Oi! You with the gray hair! STOP WHERE YOU ARE."

* * *

"…Come on, let's get closer. I have a feeling that something interesting is going to happen," Yuuto whispers.

"He did say to move along, though," Takeru says hesitantly. Yuuto scoffs.

"Like that matters. I'd rather watch Ibiki roast the first-year than go to morning assembly." Yuuto glances at the other two. "Are we going or not?"

* * *

The scarred boy yanks out something from the other boy's ear. "He was talking to you, Bakashi," he informs his friend. "Pay attention."

The boy with the gray hair glances towards Ibiki and points at himself quizzically. "Me?" He asks.

"Yeah, you with the dyed hair. I'm talking to you, punk," Ibiki growls. "You'll need to come with me."

"For what?"

"Violation of official school dress code. Come on, up you go,"

"But I am following the standard dress code," the boy with the gray hair says, confused. He gestures toward his blazer. "Look, all three buttons fastened. I'm even wearing the stupid necktie that no one likes to wear." He squints at Ibiki. "…You're not even wearing it yourself."

"I-I meant your hair, brat. Dyed hair is strictly prohibited." Ibiki clears his throat awkwardly. "I'll have to ask you to come with me to the principal's office."

"…Is this guy for real, Obito?" The boy with the gray hair asks the scarred boy incredulously.

The boy named Obito sighs. "What Kakashi means to say is that he, ah, hasn't dyed his hair," he explains to Ibiki.

"It's au naturale," Kakashi returns. He eyes Ibiki disdainfully. "But I guess uncultured swine like you wouldn't know what that meant."

Obito gives a nervous, high-pitched laugh. "Oh wow, just look at the time!" He says uneasily, glancing at Ibiki, whose face is slowly but surely turning into the color of a boiled lobster. "We should really be heading in, don't you think?" He elbows Kakashi in the ribs. "Kakashi, stop talking. You're making things worse."

Kakashi shrugs. He turns back to Ibiki. "Well, it was nice chatting with you," he says lazily. "But being on time, you see, is much more important than dealing with muscle-heads like you. Toodles."

Ibiki turns a deeper shade of puce. "Hold it right there, smart-ass," He growls, glaring at Kakashi. "I'm not done with you yet."

Kakashi rolls his eyes. "What now?" He asks. "We're going to be late. Now if you'll excuse us–"

"I need to search your bag," Ibiki says, smirking. "Now hand it over."

"Nah. Get your own."

The smile drops from Ibiki's face. The girls crowding around gasp. Nobody disrespects Ibiki. No one.

"I said. Hand. It. Over."

"Why should I?"

"Because I said so."

"Well, that's very mature of you." Kakashi looks at the crowd forming around him. "Why isn't anyone saying against this? This is a blatant abuse of authority."

"Section 19 of the Student Handbook: Discipline Committee Members have the authority to search students. They also have the right to report unruly and disorderly behavior to the instructors and administer proper discipline when said instructors are not present," Ibiki recites, looking slightly pleased with himself.

Kakashi claps his hands slowly. "That was very impressive. How long did it take you to memorize that part? A year?"

"…YOU LITTLE PIECE OF—"

"Students will face disciplinary measures for using inappropriate language and behavior during school hours," Kakashi says smoothly, cutting Ibiki off. "Section 24 of the Student Handbook. I'm guessing you didn't read beyond Section 19."

Ibiki seethes.

"Haha, Morino…san, was it? We really ought to get going. Kakashi didn't mean it. Really," Obito says weakly. The expression on Ibiki's face doesn't change.

"Hand it over."

Obito sighs, then jabs Kakashi in the side. Kakashi winces.

"What was that for?" Kakashi grumbles. Obito mutters something to him. Kakashi scoffs. "Over my dead body," he says a little too loudly.

"Don't be such a diva on the first day of school, idiot," Obito hisses. He tugs Kakashi's schoolbag off the other boy's shoulder before handing it to Ibiki. "Here. Please go easy on him, he's just a melodramatic idio—oh, _shit_."

* * *

Ken nudges Yuuto. "What kind of books does he have? Can you see?" he whispers.

"No, but judging from the look on Ibiki's face, probably something smutty," Yuuto chuckles. "Oh, man, this is the best first day of school in my life. Ibiki's face is turning all sorts of interesting colors. He's like the Panettone color wheel." He frowns. "Does that particular shade of red mean that he's mad? I'm confused."

"Shhh. I can't hear anything."

* * *

"…I'll be confiscating this," Ibiki says finally, peering into Kakashi's bag.

"Which book?" Kakashi queries innocently.

"All of them," Ibiki says sternly. Kakashi pales.

"You've got to be kidding me. You can't just take away my entire collection of Sensei's books!"

"Did you-did you seriously bring your entire collection to school? No, of course you did," Obito mutters. "Unbelievable."

"Hey," Kakashi protests. "I couldn't risk Tsunade-sama sneaking into the library and confiscating them again." He turns to Ibiki. "So, which books? Icha Icha Paradigm? Illusion? Tell you what, I'll let you borrow Paradigm for two days."

"…"

"…Three days?"

"…"

"…You're driving a hard deal here, Morino-san. How about this: Paradigm for three days and…I'll throw in the first book of Icha Icha Violence. How's that?"

"…"

"…Well, if you must," Kakashi sighs. "If you're just starting out, then I highly recommend reading Icha Icha Violence first. Paradise is the first series, but—"

"Yeah, I know."

"…What?" Kakashi looks disbelievingly at Ibiki.

"The plot of Violence is far more intricate and well-researched than the first series," Ibiki mumbles, face bright red. It's a different shade of red than before. "Minami as a female protagonist is more likable and realistic than Asuka and Mao, and Shinji—"

* * *

"…Dude, what the fuck are they talking about?" Yuuto mutters to his friends.

"Some book series?" Takeru guesses. "Seems like Ibiki's a huge fan. Go figure."

* * *

"…You. I like you," Kakashi finally says when Ibiki runs out of things to say. His mask obscures his mouth, but his eyes are crinkled as if he's smiling. He sticks out his hand. "Friends?"

* * *

"Hoooly shit," Yuuto says.

* * *

"Oh Kami, there's another freak in this school," Obito moans, burying his face in his hands.

"I'll let you borrow Icha Icha Tactics sometime later," Kakashi promises Ibiki, ignoring Obito entirely. Ibiki's face brightens.

"Here, have these back," Ibiki says gruffly. "Just don't bring them into school anymore." He tosses the schoolbag back to Kakashi. Kakashi easily catches it with one hand, but not before something shiny falls from an open pocket.

"Ah, my bad," Kakashi says lightly. He picks up the medallion from the ground and blows off the dirt on the medal. The girls closest to him who can read the letters on the medal begin to whisper to each other excitedly.

"—Is that—"

"—Kami-sama—"

"—That means—"

"—The rumor must be—"

"—True after all—"

"—He's really—"

"—The Crown Pri—"

"I can't watch this anymore," Obito mutters. "I'm going in first. Bye, Bakashi."

"Oi, Obito! Wait up!"

* * *

"You planned this from the very beginning, didn't you?" Obito hisses.

Kakashi giggles. "Well, most of it. I didn't factor in there being another Icha Icha fan in this school," he says truthfully.

Obito groans. "I don't suppose you'd stop if I told you to?" He asks, eyeing his personal guard. Kakashi shrugs.

"Can't help it," he says. "I'm supposed to be your body double. Comes with the position of being your personal guard. Let's put it this way—I'm in charge of protecting your reputation."

"No, you're **destroying** my reputation, idiot," Obito groans. "Now people are going to think that the Crown Prince of Konoha is a pervert who likes to get in trouble at school and read porn in broad daylight. Madara-oji sama will have a fit when he hears about this."

"It is _not_ porn."

"It _is_ porn. Do you know what denial is? It's this new thing that's super in fashion right now. You probably haven't heard of it before."

"Anyway, I got you a huge fan base," Kakashi says serenely, ignoring Obito's snide remark. "And a friend to enjoy Icha Icha with. You ought to be grateful."

"I don't need a friend to read porn with. That's just...no." Obito shudders. "Speaking of which, you should really stop hanging around Jiraiya. The man's a menace to society."

"Jiraiya-sensei's a true connoisseur of beauty and a literary _legend_ ," Kakashi stresses. He looks at the Crown Prince and sniffs. "I guess idiots like you can't appreciate true art. Baka-ito."

"Stop calling me that. It's _Obito_ , Bakashi. Just Obito. Show some respect, okay?"

"Alright, Baka-ouji."

"STOP."

"Hai, Baka-ouji sama."

"…AARGH."


End file.
